Munitions Issue Dwarfs the Big Picture
in The Washington Post, 10/29/04 [link]
al Qaqaa, Iraq - In a stunning declaration of newsworthiness, approximately 377 tons of missing conventional explosives, that could be used to detonate a nuclear weapon, spoke up for the first time today, soundly putting yesterday's new species of hominid dwarf in its place. "The big picture," according to a spokesman for the munitions, "is that these so-called 'dwarfs,' who are going to 're-write the story of human evolution,' have been dead for nearly 18,000 years, while we are killing many people as we speak. Maybe these fossilized dwarfs should stick to their small picture status, if they know what's good for them." The spokesman, an RDX plunger detonator, also commented that he did not "see any dwarfs here to support their big picture claims, but perhaps [he was] looking too high."
One of the scientists who discovered the dwarf fossils in a cave in the Philippines, Dr. Peter Brown of the University of New England, responded today: "Sure, 377 tons of explosives is a lot. But these are merely conventional weapons, although they could be used to detonate a nuclear weapon. Also, there are about 250,000 other tons of munitions unaccounted for in Iraq. That would be a slightly larger picture, but the really big picture is that we have a new link in the evolutionary chain leading to modern man." He also reminded reporters that "it was modern man who created the al Qaqaa weapons cache and [that] we simply would not exist without this species of island dwarf. This is, in fact, the biggest picture we should be considering at this time." He went on to speculate that even the discovery of dwarf elephants on the same island trumped the al Qaqaa debacle.
| chimeric antibodies |
al Qaqaa, Iraq - In a stunning declaration of newsworthiness, approximately 377 tons of missing conventional explosives, that could be used to detonate a nuclear weapon, spoke up for the first time today, soundly putting yesterday's new species of hominid dwarf in its place. "The big picture," according to a spokesman for the munitions, "is that these so-called 'dwarfs,' who are going to 're-write the story of human evolution,' have been dead for nearly 18,000 years, while we are killing many people as we speak. Maybe these fossilized dwarfs should stick to their small picture status, if they know what's good for them." The spokesman, an RDX plunger detonator, also commented that he did not "see any dwarfs here to support their big picture claims, but perhaps [he was] looking too high."
One of the scientists who discovered the dwarf fossils in a cave in the Philippines, Dr. Peter Brown of the University of New England, responded today: "Sure, 377 tons of explosives is a lot. But these are merely conventional weapons, although they could be used to detonate a nuclear weapon. Also, there are about 250,000 other tons of munitions unaccounted for in Iraq. That would be a slightly larger picture, but the really big picture is that we have a new link in the evolutionary chain leading to modern man." He also reminded reporters that "it was modern man who created the al Qaqaa weapons cache and [that] we simply would not exist without this species of island dwarf. This is, in fact, the biggest picture we should be considering at this time." He went on to speculate that even the discovery of dwarf elephants on the same island trumped the al Qaqaa debacle.
posted by Jon at 8:02 AM
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